Happy Birthday, Agent Rossi!
by HansonFanGermany
Summary: Penelope and JJ have a surprise for Dave when he returns to his home after his annual prison visit. PLEASE NOTE: The full story won't be posted here, but on TWCS and AO3. See Author's Note or my profile page for details.


_**A/N: When ff. net went through their database and pulled MA/NC-17 rated stories a few weeks ago, I was lucky enough to not have any of my M-rated stories removed. I've decided to leave them up here for now (I may change my mind at some point, if keeps being a pain in the butt), but have started to also post them on both TWCS and AO3. Here are the links to my profiles on both sites, where you can already find two of my Rossi/Garcia stories, **_**"Office Surprises"**_** and **_**"Late Night At The Office"**_**, both revised and the first one significantly extended: **_

_** www . thewriterscoffeeshop . ******__com/library/viewuser . php?uid=59195_  


_** archiveofourown users/MmmRossi/pseuds/MmmRossi**_

_**(Please remove spaces!)**_

_**However, please note that I will NOT upload any new MA/NC-17 stuff here. **_

_**This means that you will have to go and follow the rest of this story (read: the smut) over at TWCS and AO3 if you're interested. **_

_**It's basically PWP, starting out as a threesome and turning into a foursome in later chapters. This first chapter is merely the very tame introduction. **_

_**Thanks! Happy reading! **_

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_**Disclaimer: Criminal Minds and its characters belong to the producers and writers of the show. I'm not part of that. **_

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**Happy Birthday, Agent Rossi! **

**~.~.~  
**

Another year over, another visit to the prison done and over with, now all that was left for him to do was to inform the victim's next of kin as soon as possible and then hopefully managing to get that monster out of his head for the rest of the year.

Thomas Yates was mocking him, toying with him, wallowing in his discomfort, and Dave was letting him. For the sake of bringing all the victims' relatives closure, he let that bastard have the only enjoyment he would have behind those walls for the rest of his life.

God, he needed to find a way to not let it get to him so much, but Yates would always know better, no matter how calm and collected Dave appeared in his presence.

Making the two-hour drive back home, Dave briefly debated getting on a red-eye flight to see the victim's family as early as the next morning, but then decided against it. He was going to see where exactly the victim was from and then maybe take a few days off and squeeze in a short vacation. He certainly needed it.

The first thing he noticed when he turned into his street and approached his house was the lights shining through his windows. Then he noticed Esther, Penelope's convertible, in his driveway.

"Damn it," he muttered to himself.

He was not up for anyone's company tonight, most certainly not hers. Her bubbly, joyful personality was normally everyone's cure for any kind of heartache, but for some reason, Dave couldn't stomach her playful banter tonight.

Relieved that her car was the only one in front of his house and that it was therefore unlikely she had mobilized the rest of the team as well, he made his way inside. When he'd left them at the university, he had briefly worried that Garcia would talk them into a surprise party for when he was back, but he had trusted his best friend Hotch to keep her from doing so.

He was thinking of a plan to get rid of her as quickly as possible as he entered his kitchen and stopped in his tracks. Garcia was not alone. Working with her at his stove was JJ.

"How did you two get in here?" He asked without greeting them. "I'm pretty certain I didn't forget to set the alarm before I left this morning."

Looking around, he saw a bottle of red wine already uncorked and breathing on the counter, his kitchen table was set for three and despite his annoyance he had to admit that whatever they were cooking smelled delicious.

And it reminded him that he hadn't eaten anything all day. Well, except for a few bites of toast for breakfast, but that was over twelve hours ago. His stomach had simply refused to accept anything, but now he realized how hungry he was.

"Honey, by now you should know I'm able to work my magic anywhere," Penelope answered his question, pulling him from his thoughts.

He managed a smile and set down his briefcase.

"You do know that breaking and entering is a felony," he said, only half teasing. He hadn't been able to shake off his annoyance entirely just yet.

"Sheesh, desperate times call for drastic measures," she retorted, proceeding to take the baking dish from the oven.

Dave sighed and took off his jacket. It didn't look like the ladies planned on leaving anytime soon.

As he sat down on a stool on his kitchen island, his eyes fell onto Mudgie's empty feeding bowl. He'd been so preoccupied with his two female colleagues that he hadn't even noticed Mudgie hadn't come running to greet him as soon as he'd entered the house.

"Where's my dog?" He asked sharply, harsher than he had intended to.

"Don't worry, Rossi, he's okay. We've asked your dog sitter to keep him overnight. We figured it was better for him and us to spend the night elsewhere," JJ told him.

Dave eyed her with suspicion. He wasn't sure he liked the prospect of them apparently having planned more than just dinner. And the fact that his dog seemed to be in the way for whatever they had in mind didn't sit well with him.

"What exactly are you two doing here?"

"We're making you a surprise dinner. I bet you haven't had anything today. You must be hungry," Penelope said lightly. "We've even thought up a nice desert for you later."

She exchanged a mischievous glance with JJ, winking at her and then at him, and Dave felt his stomach sink. This couldn't be good.

"Now, come one, have a seat before the food gets cold," JJ urged him over to the dining table.

He would have argued more, but his stomach growled loudly, proving Penelope's words. The delicious scent had whetted his appetite. He just hoped that whatever this was – it looked suspiciously like lasagna – Garcia hadn't switched the meat with tofu again.

He would see to getting rid of them after they'd eaten.

Once he'd taken his seat on the table, JJ poured him a glass of wine and Penelope brought over the food.

"It's veggie lasagna," she explained. "No meat, but no tofu either."

She winked at him again and he gave her a smile. He might not be good company tonight, and he had clearly been annoyed that they had disregarded his earlier request to be left alone, but he did appreciate their effort.

And if he was honest, it was nice to have someone with him to take his mind off the events of this dreaded day.

"Smells good," he said.

Penelope filled his plate and then JJ's and her own as the younger woman poured each of them a glass of wine, too.

"Bon appetit, mes amis."

JJ raised her glass. "A toast first."

She caught Dave's eyes.

"I'm sorry, we've sprung this on you, but we both know you would have refused and told us off if we had informed you in advance. We know you're not much in the mood for a celebration, and we totally understand, but we at least want to take your mind off today's unpleasant significance and focus on the good things. And we want to show you just how much we appreciate our favorite Italian."

She winked at him. "Happy Birthday, David."

"Buon compleanno, mio bello ragazzo!" Penelope chimed in, causing Dave to laugh out loud.

"Kitten, I'm way too old to be called a 'ragazzo'. But thank you. Both of you. I know I'm a grumpy old bastard today and not very good company, but I am very grateful for this. Now let's eat. Salute!"

"Salute!"

.~.~.~.

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_**A/N2: Remember to follow the rest of this story over on TWCS and AO3 if you're interested! Thanks very much for reading!**_

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Also don't forget:

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